Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it. 
(Jerry Seinfeld)

Dating is so insecure. My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me. I told her about it. I said, "Remember when your grandma died? I was there. Remember when you flunked out of school? I was there. Remember when you lost your job? I was there!" She said, "I know - you're bad luck." (Tom Arnold)

Sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. (Tom Clancy)

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. (Steve Martin)

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. (Woody Allen)

If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject. (Mignon McLaughlin)

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. (Zsa Zsa Gabor)

It's easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years? (Anonymous)

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. (H.L. Mencken)

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it. (Lyndon B. Johnson)

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. (Jerry Hall)

Marriage changes passion - suddenly you're in bed with a relative. (Anonymous)

Love thy neighbor as yourself, but choose your neighborhood. (Louise Beal)

After observing the loved and the unloved, we found the loved ones rarely tried to manipulate others. (W. W. Broadbent, Md, PhD)

Love not what you are, but what you may become. (Miguel de Cervantes)

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. (Erich Fromm)

Love is what is left in a relationship after all the selfishness has been removed. (Cullen Hightower)

No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves. (Ed Howe)

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. (Franklin P. Jones) 

Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time. (Arnold H. Glasgow)

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. (Albert Einstein)

Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. (Anonymous)

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it. (Jonathan Winters)

Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up. (Anonymous)

The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. (Donald Kendall)

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. (Herman Cain)

(The secret to success is constancy to purpose. (Benjamin Disraeli)

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit. (Conrad Hilton)

Don't waste your time thinking about your failures. You can use the same time for becoming more successful. (Raj Sharma)

The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing it exactly right. (Edward C. Simmons)

Why are women ... so much more interesting to men than men are to women? (Virginia Woolf)

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. (Erica Jong)

When women go wrong, men go right after them. (Mae West)

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